We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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