I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
