she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
