The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we're so committed to being not committed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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