How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
