My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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