Christians are straight up FREAKS
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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