Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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