I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
