I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
