I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
