It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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