with your own penis?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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