yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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