Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
