Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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