Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Too much gin, very little bucket
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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