I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
