well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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