would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
