so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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