I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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