SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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