Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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