apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
