tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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