I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
