took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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