I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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