Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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