I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
