i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
