thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
