how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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