just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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