You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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