yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
