so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
