please come you make the beer taste better
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
