STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
