Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
