I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
