You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
