been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
