I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Less talking, more tequila
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
