If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
