So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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