She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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