Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
