My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
